Some days I’m hard pressed to find happiness in a world that doesn’t revolve around me. Three things that really chap my hide this week: Law and Order got canceled, James Bond needs a bail out, and Spring in Flagstaff only got to “Sp” leaving the “ring” part to be blown away with a cold front featuring 45mph winds. People (and Mother Nature) should really seek my approval before canceling anything.

The first annoying cancellation: Spring. I rant on the weather a lot here so I’ll be brief: this spring is painfully cold and windy. I am currently wearing three layers and need extra weight in my messenger bag so I don’t get blown down when walking to work. Weather sucks. End weather rant.

The second: Bond, James Bond. MGM recently announced that the next in the James Bond franchise (James Bond 23) has been shelved due to the financial failings of the studio. Daniel Craig is by far the best Bond since Sean Connery. The series broke with “tradition” by eliminating “Q”, female characters with euphemistic names and the “boys club” atmosphere of MI6. They brought back spy work, being dirty (with actual dirt not sex jokes), and bare knuckle killing. In the last two films Bond literally beats people to death! I’m not saying that the Daniel Craig version of Bond is more realistic, not in anyway, but he is more modern and fitting to the needs of today’s Bond fan…namely me. So why would MGM “suspend indefinitely” the next in the series? In a word: Money. The last film cost $230 million dollars to make. However, Casino Royale only cost $120 million. I suggest that Bond drive a slightly less expensive sports car (that he will eventually crash), goes to only two foreign countries (that are close together) and no tuxedo shots. All I really need is Daniel Craig as Bond in a tee-shirt beating the snot out of some “bad” guy that really deserves it. For the love of Queen and Country, someone needs to bail out James Bond! A James Bond Bond, if you will. This isn’t a difficult problem. All we have to do is convince MGM to shoot on location here in Arizona. They can film in the Grand Canyon, here in Flagstaff, in Tombstone, and city scenes in Phoenix. It would also bring tourism to the state! I bet we could get it done for $100 million. What’s the sales tax on $100 million? This is win/win! See? Problem solved. You’re welcome.

The third and most upsetting cancellation: Law and Order. Dun dun. When I had cable, I watched at least one episode of Law and Order a day. At one time, my L&O habit was up to six episodes a day. Fueling this habit was TNT. TNT played two (sometimes four) episodes back to back, Monday through Friday in the middle of the day. Unless it was basketball season, then there was no L&O just stupid basketball which just made me hate basketball. No offense to the fans of basketball but Shaq, while athletically stunning, is no Jack McCoy. TNT then played two more back to back episodes after 6:00 p.m. Sensing that they had created addiction among their viewers they would have all day marathons. Law and Order for 24 uninterrupted hours. It was glorious. Lenny Brisco asking what the internet was then making inappropriate comments about the welfare of corpses, Jack McCoy making witty comments to slack jawed defendants and then Arthur Branch says something Republican-y, all day long. I admit I often would plan vacation days to watch them. Nothing is more awesome than watching Jack moralize his prosecutions, except a NEW episode. I couldn’t watch new episodes as they aired due to the frustrating NBC scheduling and work (I can only take so many days off). Now NBC/Universal has announced that they are cancelling Law and Order! They are only one season shy of a record breaking 21st. Jack is finally DA and Michael Cutter is awesome. Not to mention Lupo and Bernard are the best detective pair since Brisco and Logan. The people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups; the police who investigate crimes and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. I NEED my stories!! NBC please sell the rights to TNT and get on with it.

In short, the universe needs to stop canceling things I like, namely Spring, James Bond and Law and Order.