I'm guessing he got some gnarly diseases that I could never name. But as I was laying in bed last week, sniffling amongst a pile of wadded up tissues and red-dye-No. 3-stained Popsicle sticks, I thought about Shakespeare and wondered what he might think of modern-day culture; The financial crisis, bipartisanship, and Tori & Dean on Bravo.

The second day of my strep affliction I clicked through the channels past Maury Povich, an infomercial for some awful workout routine promising a six-pack in 90 days, and Paula Deen making fried green tomatoes. Somehow, I landed on Tori & Dean. A reality show about Tori Spelling, teen star of Beverly Hills 90210 back in the '90s, and Dean McDermott, a D-list actor of Lifetime movie fame.

I squinted my eyes at the TV. I looked at the bleach blonde actress with exaggerated features and the washed up actor trying desperately not to look old. I squinted a little more, and looked through Shakespeare's eyes. I realized their story has all the makings of a great Shakespearean masterpiece... you had the overbearing Queen (Spelling) the bumbling King (McDermott), the fools (pretty much all of Tori's friends), the wise nurse (Nanny), and the heirs to the Hollywood throne (Spelling's two children). You even have a villain in Spelling's mother, the evil grandma Candy Spelling who has been feuding with her daughter for years.

Look, I know Tori Spelling is far from poetry. But I think old Shakey would have approved of the family drama being played out on the virtual stage a la my TV screen. They may have been fertile fodder for his imagination. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I've lost my literary edge in the stretch to make such a crude comparison. But what is a dyed-in-the-wool lit girl supposed to when she's sick in bed with feeble hands too exhausted to hold up a book? She finds a ridiculous display of American culture and works the one braincell that isn't involved in blowing her nose, to make insane literary mash-ups.

But never fear.

The phlegm has left me, Tori & Dean live to gripe another day, and Shakespeare's Othello is next up on my Kindle queue. I promise.