It's May once again and I've been thinking about my mom and moms in general. As a single woman with no children, the concept of "motherhood" is a difficult one to grasp. My mom was a "stay at home" mom in the late '70s. She ran a day care out of our house and, when my sister and I were old enough, she was an assistant at our grammar school. She was always there.

She tried desperately to make my sister and I into "young ladies" with dresses, tights, manners, and poise. We were in gymnastics, dance, swimming, Brownies, and later Rainbow Girls. She was at every meet, performance, recital, and bridging ceremony we had. She baked cupcakes, sold cookies, sewed recital outfits and Halloween costumes. She wrapped presents, planned birthday parties, and hosted sleepovers.

On top of all the things we demanded of her, she also cooked, cleaned, did laundry, decorated the house, fixed or replaced the things we broke (we broke a lot of stuff), and played with us. If you had asked me in my childhood what my mom did I probably would have told you she shopped. I realize now that shopping was the one "hobby" she had but it was also necessary. We were rough on clothes. Between playgrounds, bikes, fences, and trees, I’m amazed my sister and I made it home fully clothed! We also needed dance shoes, rehearsal clothes, gym leos, bathing suits (as we were raised in California that meant swim meet suits and bikinis), play clothes, church clothes, and school clothes. My sister and I never differentiated between the class of clothing. We climbed trees in our Easter dresses, roller skated in bikinis, dug tunnels to buried treasures in the new school clothes, and went on bike adventures in our recital outfits. We would have gone to school in Halloween costumes if my mom hadn’t stopped us.

Our childhood was pretty idyllic. My mom had no “life” outside of us and our needs. Later I realized that my mom was happy to do all the things she did for us; that was her idea of success. Her job was Mom, and she was good at it.

I’ve met some pretty amazing moms. Many of my friends are now moms. They made a choice I saw as crazy. In my mind, having a child means giving up everything else. No booze, no boys, no fun. In the years I’ve worked at Bookmans I have learned that motherhood does not mean giving up who you are. Our Administrative Assistant is a mother of two, a runner (though she’ll deny that), one of the healthiest people I know. She cares about her family and even though she works full time, she is still one of the most involved parents I’ve ever met. She coaches soccer, chaperones field trips, volunteers to coordinate reading challenges, and still finds time to be an avid reader. A former employee of our store had her son while she worked here. She is very present in the world of Flagstaff. She found a way to balance a social life, going back to school, raising a child, and being an outspoken advocate of women’s rights. Our Community Coordinator is a new mom, celebrating her first Mother’s Day this year. She has been working from home and here in the store when she can, all while carrying her baby with her. She is my age and I look at her and hope to someday be that together and dress that well.

My mom, and all the moms in my life now, have shown me about being a better woman and about being an adult. Moms have a strength that normal people just don’t have. They have sacrificed, but they have maintained who they are as people. These women are not “just moms” they are interesting, intelligent women who are good friends. To all the Moms in my life, especially the one who raised me, thank you.